December has always been a stressful month for me. And not because of busy parking lots, crowded malls and draining bank accounts (well, that’s always stressful no matter the time of year) — but because of all the family get-togethers where delicious seasonal food would be served, all the Christmas activities that filled my calendar that would take away from gym or run time, and all the tempting treats that were brought into the office at work.
Yes, all of those wonderful seasonal things that most people love about this time of year would stress me out. And I feel sad that it has been like that for so long for me — how many Christmas activities and family events I was never fully present for or experiencing because I was so worried about how many miles I needed to run to burn off X amount of calories to “be healthy”. Ugh. (more…)
If I had known when I was 16 years old that restrictive eating and over exercising would have caused infertility 15 years into the future, would I have changed my behaviour?
I highly doubt it. How could I have, when I grew up with the perfect storm of conditions for having hypothalamic amenorrhea (HA) later in life: an overweight father with health conditions related to a poor diet, which in turn made me extremely fat-phobic as a child (I was scared to eat foods high in fat because I thought I would have a heart attack, too); a slightly Type A and perfectionist mindset combined with anxiety due in part to my dad’s poor health; an introverted personality type that prefers individual sports such as running and weight lifting over team sports; over 10 years of competing in endurance sports; going on the birth control pill at age 16 which prevented me from cycling naturally thus hiding any ovulation problems for over 15 years; and growing up in North American diet culture, where every magazine told me how I needed to lose those last 10 pounds. (more…)